Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Let Them Craft, Cook, Make a Mess and Love Them!

As the years go on and the children get older, I sit and think about how much time I have left with them. I cannot believe that I don't have any babies around the house anymore. 9,8,7...that's how old they are and with them all skipping grades, that ages them even more. This means they may leave my home eaarlier. This is one reason why I adopt the Enjoy Every Minute motto. I want to be able to hav plenty of great memories in my bank when they finally move on to have families of their own. I don't want to have any regrets or be that person that can't function without her kids and has no identity once they are gone.
 I want to enjoy every minute with the babies I had then, the big kids i have now and the teens I will have tomorrow and then when it's just my husband and I, we can go on adventures of our own, knowing that we equipped the kids to function without us. We may be around for big family holiday gatherings or we may be on the other side of the world, but the one thing we will always have? Memories and so much Love! We will visit our children often, not wait for them to visit us, we will let them know with frequen calls and letters how missed and loved they are but understand that their lives are busy too. We will have had our time with out kids and I don't want to miss a minute of it, knowing that as each day passes, that is one day less I will have with them.
This is why I say LET THEM LIVE!! Our house is in perpetual chaos. Is it a tornado where I fear they may be taken away? Nope, it's just got clutter. There are too many pictures on the wall, too much junk piling up on the coffee table and their rooms have probably hidden a secret or two somewhere in the mounds of blanket forts and sleeping bags. Time is running out and I don't want to miss opportunities. What? You want to use a hot glue gun AND a saw to build a birdhouse? Sure, just let me be in the same room. You don't feel good? Let's take a day off from school and read those library books about bridges and then show me that you can build one of your own with proper structure and tell me all about it, what kind of bridge it is and what it resembles...ohh yeah, it's a play day, no learning or fun at all!
Let them create their own lives so that they don't become to dependent on you. Oh dear, are you wearing stripes with plaids and adding a Santa hat when it's 92 degrees out? Okay, you look 
awesome. The last thing we want to do is kill their creativity and curiousity. It may make us look like careless parents when we get the stink eye from someone at the grocery store because our kids have mismatched socks on and pillowcases hanging around their necks but well you see...they are superheroes saving the laundry people of today from the dryer that eats socks...
As long as they are not harming themselves or anyone else, let them try it. There will be bigger battles ahead and they need to learn the results of their consequences today. Every day is a new one to make new choices, let them do it. Oh, you want to climb to the top of that rock wall without me standing behind you...okay I will watch from afar and realize that you did it all on your own...without me. Yes, everyday they get a little bit stronger and a heck of a lot smarter and you know why? Because you let them grow.
Knives and stoves and ovens oh my! Why don't you bang on a pot while mommy cooks. No? What? Oh yeah you are 9. Okay, you wash the stuff and I will chop...no wait. Here. Be careful, tuck your fingers away and have at it. Here is a stool, lean in close and I will share a secret. Okay, you chop, you over there, you stir and you...hey little one, stop sampling! I think sometimes we think they can't do it because we don't want to admit that our children are growing. Too fast if you ask me, but we can't stop it. The time will come that that they want to walk, then run and then fly and it's up to us to make sure that they can dust their knees off when they fall and then keep on going. It's up to us to let them know that we will always be here for a hug or a phone call or even advice but we need to let them go first.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings and remember to enjoy every minute...
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