Thursday, January 29, 2015

Sometimes I'm Scared...

Yesterday as I sat in a valium haze at the dentist, I realized that i'm still a kid when it comes to going there. I have no cavities and in fact have only had 2 in my entire life but yet I still get scared enough that they have to prescribe me something. At that moment as I waited anxiously for it all to be over with, my mind began to wander at just how much fear plays a dominant role in my life.

~I fear that my children are not getting enough of anything, have I failed them in some way? Their state tests and kind manners along with compliments I get on them do nothing to ease that fear, is it just something all parents have?

~I fear that my husband will get burned out, he works so hard for us to have the life that we do and he manages to do it all starting at 5 in the morning. (The earlier he goes in, the earlier he can be home!). He comes home in a great mood and is always ready to chip in around the home and then play with the kids and still spend time chatting with me about the day.

~3 friends the same age as myself recently lost their fathers, my mother just lost her best friend (all of these people the same ages as my parents) and all of this within the same week. I fear that my parents will die too soon, I'm not ready to say goodbye and I don't think I ever will be.

~I fear that our old school van will up and die on us. We are far overdue for a new car, but just not willing to bite the bullet and get another one yet. We took a huge hit to our savings when we bought the house 2 years ago and have been building it back up. We have the luxury of no mortgage but worry that after we buy a car, something may happen...

~I fear that I fear too much and spend too much of my day letting those worries creep into my thoughts and they definitely don't have me getting 8 hours, 6 hours or even 5 hours of a sleep a night.

~I worry that my Faith is not strong enough to just had HIM all my worries and know that everything will work out just as it is supposed to.
Enjoy every minute my friends, sorry to get so personal on a Thursday when we should be celebrating that tomorrow is FRIDAY!
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